Life Achievements as a Finger
by Carlisle Bella and the Banana
Summary: Life as a finger was all about getting eaten and enjoyed.  I had hoped for the best but ended up getting a surprise. Based on Hide and Drink by Savage


Penname: Greta Keller

Title: Life Achievements of a Finger

Summary: Life as a finger was all about getting eaten and enjoyed. I had hoped for the best but ended up getting a surprise.

Disclaimer: This work is being used for fanfiction and not for personal profit.

Contest: Carlisle, Bella and the Banana

Life Achievements of a Finger  
By Greta Keller

What a life! It couldn't have been any better. When I was attached to the tree, the fingers in my bunch always  
rambled on and on about the meaning of life. Most of the fingers in my hand thought that the other fingers were full of  
crap. What did they know? They only heard stories for the workers. I didn't really care or expect much. I was a laid  
back finger with ideas that one day, I would be eaten. That is what it was all about in my mind. The other fingers told  
stories of being mixed up in a smoothie or yogurt parfait. Those fingers were dreaming and in my opinion, needed to lower  
their standards a little.

The day that we got cut was exciting. The worker cut us down and carried us off to the crate. The ship ride was  
cold and that made the bunch quiet except for one finger that would not shut up.

"I know I am going to end up being part of a Jamba Juice! It is my life's dream! I can't wait. Do you think that  
I will be mixed with a protein shot of some sort?" I just let the talking fade in my mind. I dreamed of being peeled  
slowly and eaten and enjoyed. Ahhhhhh! The thought would have been really good if the Jamba Juice whore would have just shut up.

We arrived in the United States, at least that was what the worker said. Most of us were asleep from the cold. Even  
Jamba whore finally decided to give it a rest. We were moved from the crate and separated into our respective hands. The  
washing felt good but what was really neat was the cool sticker that was placed on my peel. It said, "Eat me! I'm fat free!"  
Sweet! We were loaded into a new crate and put into the truck. I was really starting to get excited and the other fingers  
were starting to chat.

"This is it, folks! Look your best!"

We rode in the crate for days. I was so happy that Jamba whore was in another crate. I could barely hear the squeaking  
noise of their voice and I was very grateful.

Finally, the riding stopped and a worker picked up my crate. My fruity heart was pounding with excitement. I couldn't  
wait to find out my fate. Would it be the one that we all dreamed and talked about for so long while growing on the tree? The  
anticipation was almost too much for me. The lid of the crate came off and my hand was picked up and placed on the shelf. Where  
were we? The light in the building was bright. I had to adjust my senses. I sat there looking my best. My sticker looked  
pristine. All was good.

Workers walked by and picked me up and would put me back. I was starting to feel a little dejected when this worker picked  
me up and put me in the basket. Here goes! Oh, boy! I was placed in a plastic bag and there was more riding. When would this  
riding be over? I had enough. The other fingers in the hand were very quiet. We were all hoping for the best. We all wanted to  
be eaten and not forgotten. There were storied heard at the tree of fingers that had died a horrible death by rotting. How awful?  
I was sure this would not happen to me but it always stayed in the back of my head. I wished that for Jamba whore. Who would want  
to eat that annoying finger?

Immediately, we were removed from a bag and placed on this hook. Ouch! That hurt because I was the one that got hooked.  
One of the fingers was removed from the hand. I could see the peel being pulled off, the innards eaten and the peel being thrown  
away. "Good show!" one of the fingers cheered.

Time went by and the other fingers started disappearing one by one. Good Show got eaten third. Finally, it was just me  
left and I was starting to fear the worse. I didn't want to rot!

One moment, two workers came into my area. One was the worker that picked me up at the place with the bright lights.  
The other I had never seen before. They were discussing something serious. I could tell by the tone of the one worker's voice.

"Bella, you need to be careful with this. If you would get pregnant, I am not sure what would happen. You need to use  
protection." I could tell the worker called Bella was embarrassed by the conversation and did not want it to continue. "I'm very  
serious, Bella!"

There was a long pause. "I don't know what to do, Carlisle and I don't feel right talking about this in my kitchen!"  
the worker Bella said. "Then let's go someplace else. The living room?" asked worker Carlisle. "Let's go upstairs," worker  
Bella said.

All of a sudden, a hand grabs me and tucks me into a bag. The ride up the stairs was rough. What was happening? Was this  
it? Was I going to get eaten?

"I think that you and Edward need to use protection, Bella so I bought a box of condoms." I see a hand reach into the bag  
and pull out the object next to me. I hear the box open and a ripping sound then a snort as if someone was holding back a laugh.

"What am I supposed to do with this?" worker Bella says straining to suppress laughter.

"Well, you put it over Edwards' penis before you have sex and it will catch any sperm released during…"

"I know that!" worker Bella interrupts. "I'm not… sure… well…" I could feel the embarrassment coming from worker Bella.

"Here! Let's me show you how to use one!" Worker Bella shrieks! "No, Bella. I am not going to physically show you on my  
own penis. I will use this banana." The hand reaches in the bag and pulls me out. No! No! No! My worse nightmare ever. I wasn't  
going to get eaten. I was going to be used as a cock model! What a disgrace!

I heard the workers talking in the background but the only thing going through my mind was that I wasn't going to get eaten.

"Take the condom and put it on the tip of the banana just like you would Edward's penis. There, good job." I was being held  
between the legs of worker Bella and the slimy plastic coin was touching the end of my peel. It was cold. So cold!

"Now, roll the condom down the peel. Good! Very good! Yes… roll it all the way down. There! You did it! Are you comfortable  
with doing this?" Worker Bella said something but I was not comfortable. Bitches! All of you, fucking bitches. I was layed down on the  
table with the slimy covering over me with the only thing sticking out was my stem. No one would ever want to eat me with this thing on me.  
It was nasty and it tasted bad. I was doomed. I was going to rot forever inside this thing called a condom. Ohhhhhhh, my life was over.  
If I stayed in this thing very long, I was going to rot quickly. Fuck, Jamba whore! I hated that finger more than I ever had at that very  
moment.

"You may feel a little pinch. Wait. There. Good! You are all done."

"Thanks, Carlisle. This is the most embarrassing conversation I have ever had," said that worker Bella.

"Sorry about that, Bella. I just wanted to make sure you and Edward are ok. I will talk to you soon."

I heard steps outside the door and a few more worker words. By this time, I had given up on life. I was going to die a miserable  
failure.

I hear steps coming up the stairs and rustling of the box and I am guessing that worker Bella was sitting the chair next to me. Who cares.

There was a long pause and silence. A few giggles here and there. I could tell that worker Bella was thinking. All of a sudden, I  
get picked up. The slimy covering gets pulled off and I am looking Bella in the face. Was she really going to do it? Was she going to eat  
me after being in that slimy thing? My peel starts to be removed and I could see the light. There was music and choirs singing loudly. Was  
this really happening to me? It was! I wasn't a failure. I was a happy banana and worker Bella said, "Mmmmmmmmmmmm!" I had succeeded!


End file.
